i am not who i wish to be...

i just dont feel like doing anything today..=[

Feeling down in the drain today..
i don't know why.. regular mood swings are back.
today, dont feel like talking much.. but i feel guilty not talking oso... so sorry mum and dad
whenever they ask me or tell me anything, i dun seem to be in the conversation
i kept on saying 'har?', 'what ar?'... or i just repeat wat they said... without knowing wat they say.. haha
this is a very bad feeling today.. and i feel like listening to oldist or classical music ryte now.
listened to some just now on the radio...
however, today, my house is the noisiest house in my garden.
there are people who come and wash and clean the external part of my house today.
clean the dead plants, the weeds and the mouldy walls! that is great huh?
;p
they even cut the grass... at the back of my house! yay!good good.
now my garden is as clean as the lakegardens.. lol!

and guess what! not long ago, my dad make a shield for one part of my house which has a open roof. so, as u all know, this few days were so windy... and everynight we heard this sound from that roof when the strong wind blows...
thn ryte, just now, my neighbour showed us along long piece of plastic-like rectangular thing and asked us whether is it ours... OBVIOUSLY YES LA! hahaha...
omg... the roof really blow of from the top...
luckilly no one is not hurt.. it must have blown off during the night when the wind was really strong.
fortunately, the man came to fixed it just now itself. =) phew!

the title of today's post is one of the reason why i am feeling down today.
i am not what i wish to be
will i ever be what i want to be.?
as in do the things i enjoy and just be myself?
not being akward in any circumstances..?
accept changes although i am not fond of changes?
learning to let go of things i know i'll never have?
just let go...
im sorry for im being emo.. lolx

wow....

don't forget to observe the sky when the night is clear! ;p

i love gazing at the stars...it is just so beautiful and mysterious.
wish i can just lie down on the ground and gaze at the twinkling stars..
my parents will think im crazy id i even did that! aihs...
i wana lie down and gaze at twinkling stars! ;p
dreams....

cheerio! ^^